The Blah Blah Blah Makes no Difference

Let me start by sharing with you a short story. There were two young adults named Ener and Masa in a little place called Politea. Ener was a problem solver and Masa was a prolific nagger/complainer. One day Politea encountered a problem related to the water distribution regulated by the improvised waterways system. Only the cottages nearing the waterways system receive water while those locals residing on the far side seldom gets supply. Ener, having a house in both sides of Politea can feel the frustrations of those who doesnt receive water supply. Masa on the other hand, lives on the far side where water supply was scarce. Masa, being a prolific nagger and an envious kid would complain about how inefficient their Politea council is. He would often criticize and appeal to the emotions of people. He is perceived to be defending those who are affected but in truth, he is just nagging and politicizing. Ener on the other hand, though affected, brought his concerns before the council and suggested means to resolve the issue. Ener acknowledges the fact that though their Politea council is tasked to address their concerns, they do  not have a monopoly on leadership. So He went out of his way not to criticize, nag, or complain but help out. He realized that unlike Masa, who constantly complain and do nothing, he opted to step up and help those in authority to best address the issue at hand.

Moral of the Story:

To simply put it, “The Blah Blah Blah Makes no Difference.” In life we will often encounter people who will always complain and seek for better things. That is good to a certain extent. But come to think of it, those who will just complain and do nothing and wait till a savior come to resolve their concerns, is nothing but a fart in the wind who will just make his presence felt by the mere foul odor and it wont last long. These are people who has nothing but hot air in them… a classic nagger and political being. So how do we know that these people who complain is nothing like “Masa” in the story, if these people who complain, will go out of their way to help out and extend assistance. No one has a monopoly on power and authority. Though we have councils, and it is true that they represent our interests, they are not the alpha and the omega of student leadership.

Ask yourself if you are a Masa or Ener? Look around you and see if you have an Ener or a Masa in your midst. Do not be deceived of the sweet talking “Masa” who will do nothing but to nag, complain, and politicize. Very few burdens are heavy when everyone lifts. Discourage all “Masa” kind of people and support the “Ener” type. Nothing good will result from an office run by Masa. Think about it… 

I wish I could go away reposted

It kills me to say that I am not affected. It hurts me more being placed in a situation where i don’t have any option but to yield. I never thought that i would be eating the very words I usually utter to my friends way back in high school. I never thought that what i was preaching about will come back to me a hundredfold and would test me if I could walk the talk? I wanted to be optimistic about things. I always tried to see the best in every person. I am trying to be understanding and yet reasonable with the way I do things..in the way i carry myself.. in the way I treat others.. and the way i try to conceal the infallible truth of pain and bitter disappointment. I am starting to question my characteristics, my disposition, my self-esteem, my strengths, and my very life. Am i ugly? dumb? or should I say boring? Of course, my friends will always say otherwise but deep inside me,i am thinking, probably.. at a certain point, I might be. I have always been so good. In fact, I was so good that i am now at the bridge of rethinking my goodness to other people. What did I do to deserve this treatment? Cruel…insensitive…slowly, it is killing me.

I had my fair share of life’s treats. It is like a disease you know. You first won’t feel anything and even deny that you are ill. One will always claim that he/she is not affected. Guess what? I was just like that. I said that I am not affected. That it is nothing. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not sick or anything. But I am. Weird thing is, all along I thought that it was nothing. Just another fart in the wind which just struck you because of its smell and later, vanishes and replaced by fresh air. To my surprise, it is not. Denial is one thing but unexpected situations will tell you that you should not have denied yourself before. More than any type of sickness, the most painful of all feeling is the feeling of being manipulated, laugh at, and even shut down of no reason. It might come as a shock or probably a disappointment to all my friends in this planet, but its time for reserving some for myself. I won’t opt for self-pity, I won’t even get mad or get even. I won’t even curse or treat these people coldly. As always, I will keep my peace in the silent reserves of myself, my most trusted companion ever since. True that it is hurting! True that its really annoying!!and very true that it is consuming!!! What can I do? That is life. You win some, you lose some. I am trying to be very human… to be very positive,and to be strong. But I hope I am trying to do all these for myself and not for others. Enough is enough. Like every one else, I too, have my limitations, I am no superman. I am not a man of steel! I may look tough. I may seem so overpowering and intimidating to some. Guess what? I also do get hurt…Hmmm… All I can do is inhale all the air I could and breathe it out and hold on to the hope that someday, in my time, I would end up as the victor..that i would end up deserving what happened and not live to see my very CORE pounding for respect… for that gut-feeling, an egocentric belief that it is about winning. For the first time in my life, I surrender.. not because I am losing or afraid.. but like the usual happenings in my life; DUTY calls.. responsibility and all the stuff..Some day my time will come… Idealistic but right now, it is all that i have. Nothing more. Its what keeps me going… for now… 

Bakit pa kaya naudlot?

Kadalasan, marami tayong nakikitang mga pangyayari na mahirap ipaliwanag. Minsan pa nga eh pinipilit natin hanapan ng mga dahilan ang ilan sa mga nakasanayan na nating gawain. Ang masakit ay sa proseso ng paghahanap natin ng dahilan, wala tayong makita at mahanap na kasagutan. Natanong na ako ng ilang mga kaibigan noon kung bakit ko ginagawa ang mga bagay na pinagkakaabalahan ko? Bakit hindi na lamang ako mamuhay na kagaya ng karamihang mag-aaral. Totoo na nakakapag-isip ang mga ganitong katanungan. Bakit nga ba?

Noong isang araw tinext ako ng isang kaibigan ng isang tanong. Kung ganon daw ba talaga ang buhay natin? Yung tipong papasok sa USTe, mag-aaral, magtatapos, tapos mag-aasawa, magkakaanak, at magtatrabaho? Bakit daw masyadong predictable or laid out na ang mga plano? Noong nabasa ko ang text ng kaibigan ko, sa totoo lang ang hirap intindihin at sagutin. Kahit mismo ako eh hindi ko naintindihan yung gusto nya mismong itanong. Kaya ang sinabi ko na lang eh, our life here on earth is not something planned or scripted, where we are just playing the roles of actors created by the greater mind. It is always up to us on how to proceed, where, and when. It is always a choice.

Siguro, nasanay na lang ako na sumagot sa mga tanong ng mga kaibigan pero sa loob-loob ko, ano nga ba talaga sagot dun? Kung meron mang isang bagay na wala ako ngayon, siguro yun ang sarap ng libreng oras. Ilang time management training and seminar na ang napuntahan ko pero sadyang marami lang talagang ginagawa. Ito na siguro ang kapalit dahil sa pamumuhay na pinili ko. Pero minsan eh sadyang nakakalungkot lang na hindi na ako makalabas kasama mga barkada, kaibigan, at kakilala. Noong minsan na kumain kami sa Kebab ng ilang mga kaibigan, bigla lang naitanong ng isang kaibigan bakit tayo nasa council? Bakit kaya mga wala tayong girlfriend? Nakakatawa nung una namin narinig pero napatahimik kami at napatigil sa pagkain ng Special Chelo Chicken. Naging reaction lang namin eh. “oo nga!?” Siguro kung tutuusin, desisyon lang talaga namin na ganoon o di kaya ay mahirap. Pero ang saloobin ko lang nun eh sa akin paniniwala, hindi yun isang bagay na dapat hinahanap, kung talagang para sa iyo yun, eh di sayo.

Ang turing sa akin ng mga kaibigan eh may pagkaweirdo. Napansin kasi nila na malakas ang dating sa akin ng mga babae na kaya ako eintimidate. Bukod pa dito, may weakness kasi ako sa mga unusually na mababait. Gusto ko rin daw ng nasusurpresa ako sa pag-uugali. Yung tipong akalain ko na masungit at maarte pala, tapos malalaman ko na mabait, maalalahanin, at simple lang. Tapos, napag-isip isip ko lang, mukhang ganun nga talaga ako. Minsan na akong nakakilala ng ganun, bakit pa kaya naudlot? Kung sa bagay, kung para sa iyo, sa iyo talaga iyon. hmm..

Marami din mga pangyayari na mapapatanong kayo kung bakit pa naudlot? Siguro, tayo may pagkukulang.. or posible din na hindi lang talaga para sa atin yun. Pero kahit gaano pang nakakalungkot at sadyang mapapaisip ka, hindi dapat mahinaan ng loob. Hayaan lang natin, malay natin.. sa mga darating na panahon, may makikita o makakadaupang palad tayo sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, tapos muling maiisip natin na “Mabait talaga ang Diyos. Naudlot nga, itinuloy pa rin nya, o naudlot nga sa isa, binigyan naman ng bagong pag-asa. Naalala ko tuloy yung teacher ko sa Don Bosco, lagi niyang sinasabi sa amin nun, “Sadyang mahirap initindihin ang mga kabalintunaan ng buhay, hindi ito isang leksyon na ituturo muna sayo bago ang pagsusulit bagkus ay bibigyan ka muna ng pagsusulit bago ang pagtuturo ng leksyon.”

Lahat ng bagay ay nangyayari dahil ito ay may patutunguhan. Lahat ng nasa mundo ay may kapakinabangan. Maaring hindi natin maintindihan pero sana ay huwag tayong paghinaan. Kung maudlot man o hindi maisakatuparan, darating din ang panahon, na lahat ng ito ay maiintindihan. Hayaan lang natin at abangan!